Pets Aren’t People
I saw a meme about some humans who take their dog, Ruckus, to see the Christmas lights. The dog loves it! Oh, also, the humans don’t have any children. I said, “Imagine how happy Ruckus would be if his humans gave him some kids to play with!” “John, you insensitive jerk! Some people can’t have […]
The Season of God’s Wrath
During the Christmas season it is good to think about God’s unwavering justice. In order to achieve justice, God unleashes wrath. Let’s not forget that Jesus came to Earth, in the form of a newborn babe, meek and mild, to perish on a cross because of us. All year long, ungodly rebels like to tell […]
Neutral Is Useless
Christians: It would be good to stop striving for neutrality. I know you think you’re loving everyone equally by refusing to take sides. I appreciate the attempt to be impartial and I understand that you’re trying to do a good thing. You think you’re acting like Jesus. The problem is that Jesus was never neutral. […]
Leaving Auto Maintenance
I don’t know exactly how many people I’ve shoved away from the saving grace of Jesus but it’s a big number. A whole bunch of people have told me that they used to be Christian but my toxicity, hatefulness, and general unpleasantness caused them to renounce the faith and become…something else…which they can’t define. So […]
Divorcing Tom Brady
Celebrities are a gift from God. In His goodness, He places rich, famous, popular people before us so that we can see that fame, wealth, and popularity don’t bring contentment. Ladies, you should thank God for giving you Gisele Bundchen. Her divorce is testimony to the truth that a Princess isn’t always happy even when […]
The Good from Nothing
A lot of people have told me they can be good without God. These people are wrong. “John, you jerk! I don’t believe in your sky fairy and I am a really good person.” You’re telling me that you’re a really good person assuming I understand what goodness is. You didn’t try to prove that […]
Responding to the Baby Slayers’ Wrath
My position is that murder is always wrong. Here are my official responses to the objections raised by those who support occasional murder. “John, you moron, a fetus is not a human!” – I doubt you can prove that a fetus is anything other than human. Every single baby on Earth came from a fetus. […]
When An Idiot Says You’re Smart
Smart people don’t need affirmation from stupid people. Dimwits are not equipped to evaluate intelligence.
Congrats to the Baby Slayers
Congratulations to the baby slayers in Michigan and California! Election day was a great day for you! It looks like you’ll permanently be allowed to slaughter infants. This is a great victory! You fought hard for it and I hope you’ll take a few minutes to enjoy it. Weighed down by their consciences, most people […]
Gender is Biology
Sometimes, things don’t work out as you hoped. I was blessed with grown-ups in my life who told me this when I was a kid. It’s the reason I am not reduced to a shimmering pile of feelings when I don’t get my way. It’s the reason I function normally when a Democrat holds the […]