I Don’t Want To Do Crime, So Trust Me!
You godless pagans will sometimes say helpful things. For example: “The question I get asked by religious people all the time is, without God, what’s to stop me from rping all I want? My answer is: I do rpe all I want…I do murder all I want, and the amount I want is zero.” This […]
This Update Changed Everything!
I used to think my computer updates were mostly insignificant changes. It seemed to me that the updates heralded as ‘major improvements’ were in reality, minor tweaks. But boy oh boy have I changed my mind! The powers that be foisted an update upon my unsuspecting computer and I awoke to the gleeful announcement that […]
They Don’t Care How I Feel About War
I’m beginning to think the Government doesn’t want my opinion about the war. They’re relying on intelligence reports, military analysts, satellite surveillance, logistics experts, foreign policy advisors, historians, economists, and battlefield commanders. And nobody from Washington has reached out to ask how the war makes me feel. For the record: I don’t like it. War […]
Authentically Inauthentic
Once upon a time, sporting a Nazi tattoo was a liability for elected officials in the United States. Previous generations of Americans were closed minded bigots who thought support of The Third Reich was incompatible with American ideals. They also believed slavery was incompatible with freedom. Thanks to the Democratic party and decades of public […]
5 Essentials You Can’t Do Comedy Without
There is a belief among some groups that comedy has no rules. These folks insist there are no guidelines, no boundaries, no restrictions. Comedy gives you the freedom to say whatever you want without restraint. They’ve mistaken freedom of expression for anarchy. As soon as I say, “There are no rules in comedy,” I’ve stated […]
Announcing The Comedy Round Table
There are several reasons I love comedy. Laughter prohibits grumbling, complaining, and physical assault. You can’t easily do harm while belly laughing. In between rounds, boxing coaches NEVER tell their fighters, “A priest, a rabbi, and a duck walked into a bar…” Comedy is a shortcut to thoughtfulness. Ideas are complex things that require mental […]
Our Schools Are Not Your Church!
Somebody claiming to be on a mission to make sure billionaires don’t destroy public school is bigly mad at something called ‘The “Herzog Foundation” which I assume to be either a diabolical gathering of criminal masterminds or a giant mechanical rodent that topples skyscrapers or a combination of both. While I’m opposed to criminal hijinks […]
Just Stop Being Afraid, Y’all.
When I mention Jiddu Krishnamurti you’ll be stricken with fear about how to pronounce his name. That’s ironic because he gave a lecture in 1984 that revealed how you can eliminate fear from your life. So I should have waited to mention his name until after you were given the secret to overcoming the terror […]
Bad Teachers Produce Ignorant Students
It seems plausible that ignorant students are the result of terrible teachers. Recently, a prominent political figure in my home State was invited to speak at a high school. The politician is an outspoken Christian which is problematic for terrible people including those who happen to be teachers. Several teachers stepped up to educate me […]
Don’t You Dare Say Anything Bad About Divorce!!!
Russell Moore said, “While divorce is sometimes necessary, it is never good,” and that was the cue for a horde of divorced Christian women to defend the dissolution of families. Because a lot of people heard that and went, “Never good? Excuse me, have you met my husband? Divorce was the most spirit-led thing I’ve […]