Pocket Change and Evolution
Ever found a penny on the ground? It happens from time to time. Ever found a quarter on the ground? Wonder how it got there. Someone pulls something out of a pocket… scatters change on the ground… picks up most of it but misses the quarter. Have you ever found 30,000 coins on the ground? […]
Don’t Ask This
“Tell me what’s going on in your life.” “So I’ll know how to pray for you.” Well, on your knees I suppose. Fold your hands. Maybe bow your head a little. “No. I mean so I’ll know what to pray about.” What to pray is entirely different than how to pray. Asking what to pray […]
8 Things Christians Should Give Up To Reach Unchurched People
If you’re baffled as to why unchurched people aren’t exactly flocking to most churches, then you need to read this article! It has nothing to do rebellion, selfishness, or mankind’s hatred of righteousness. The reason people aren’t flocking to church is because of YOU! If you expect to reach unchurched people you need to quit […]
How To Know Who To Kill
We agree that cold blooded killings should be rare, right? If driving your car into crowds of people is something you do often… …you need to be more introspective. (That means, consider your motives and thoughts.) Let’s conduct a little thought experiment. Suppose you hear that somebody intentionally drove a car into a crowd of […]
Why I Hate Hate
A friend once said, “I hate getting up in the morning.” Like Nazi hate it? He responded, “What?” The Nazi party knew how to hate. Those guys hated EVERYTHING. My guess is they probably hated getting up too. Is that how you hate it? “Uh, I dunno.” Let’s find out. Is getting up responsible for every hardship you […]
Have a Smidge of Jesus
She came out from behind her table. Took two quick steps and was standing right in front of me. “Can I ask you a question?” That was a question but I assumed she meant another one. Of course. Ask away. I’d just performed at a large ministry conference. Festive wouldn’t overstate my emotional state of […]
Honestly Dishonest
Whenever I say, “Be completely honest with me.” …I’m not being completely honest. I despise honesty. No. I take that back. I despise being honest. However, I demand honesty in others. As long as it lines up with what I believe. When I say, “Tell me what you think about this.” …I mean, “Tell me […]
Send In MORE Clowns
Awhile back, there was some worry that we might run out of clowns. The people who study clown population (I’m sure those people must exist) were concerned that clowns might become extinct or at least their numbers would dwindle to the point that there wouldn’t be enough faces to target with pies and seltzer bottles. […]
How To Know If You’re Male
This short questionnaire will help you determine your gender. Give yourself one point for every ‘YES’ answer to the following questions: Have you ever… Used a dangerously sharp object to scratch an itch inside your ear? Lit a gas grill with the lid down? Counseled a child to “not do what I just did with […]
A Vanilla Explanation
I discovered a melted ice cream cone on the sidewalk. A friend suggested that some poor soul had dropped it there. “You’re a simpleton,” I retorted smugly. I’m well versed in the arguments for the origins of Sidewalk Ice Cream. Skepticism is my strong suit. I relish every opportunity to showcase my talent. “Where is […]