If Mary Was A Feminist
Feminism is a things that I’ve heard some Christian women say we need. These women believe that women aren’t being treated well enough in regular, old, New Testament Christianity so they’re looking to secular philosophy to create a more fair and equitable kingdom of God. I mean no disrespect when I say this but, ladies, […]
How Much Do You Bother Your Friends?
I don’t take those online quizzes that my hidden traits. You know the quizzes I’m talking about, right? Those series of questions that dig deep into my character to reveal important information like, the color of my soul, or my ‘inner nationality,’ or what kind of spice I am. Note, this isn’t revealing which ‘Spice […]
You MUST Understand This About Every Movie Ever Made
There was a movie called, “The Interview” that upset some Christians. I didn’t actually see the movie but I knew the folks were upset about the final scene which featured an awesome, slow-motion explosion of a helicopter, which portrayed North Korea’s lovable dictator, Kim Jong Un, blowing to bits in awesome, slow-motion. To these Christians, it’s inappropriate. They […]
Tolerate Horror
I don’t think everyone knows what ‘tolerate’ means. Tolerance is allowing morons to live freely among us. Intolerance is telling me I can’t call a moron, ‘a moron’. There’s a difference between tolerance and acquiescence. I will tolerate you not knowing what acquiesce means. I acquiesce that many of you won’t bother to look it up. […]
Pocket Privilege
I don’t want to take blessings for granted. So I appreciate articles like the one I read awhile back from a famous pastor entitled, “More on Ferguson and White Privilege.” It was articles like this that helped our country cast aside all the progress we’ve made eliminating racism and dedicate our energies on solving problems […]
Ball Recall
Several years ago, I got a letter that probably saved my life. Thanks to the efforts of some governmental agency, Buckyballs were banned in the United States. What are Buckyballs? They are little, spherical magnets. They can be stuck together into interesting shapes. And… they’re the most lethal, metal objects invented since the Guillotine. Here is […]
Dead Headlines
YOU WON’T BELIEVE HOW THIS ENDS Once upon a time there were creatures called ‘Journalists’. At the top of their stories, journalists wrote ‘headlines’. Which hinted at what the story was about. Then the internet came along. Now, headlines don’t summarize stories at all. Instead, they are written to pique curiosity. Journalists won’t tell me what the […]
Color Me Racist
No white. Coincidence? Not likely… Gonna try something today. It’s a popular method of attracting attention. Gonna take a shot at being offended. Bear with me. It’s my first time. Here we go… Benjamin Moore paint company is racist! They have paint named “Eggshell White” As a white man, I’m outraged. It offends me to have my […]
Sense Extinction
Father knows best. Ha! Ha! Just kidding! Father knows nothing. Mother knows a bit more. But the wisest among us are surely the children. Babies know whether they’re boys or girls, …or something else. No matter what the doctor wrote on the birth certificate. A medical degree doesn’t make one an authority on gender. Kids know best. […]
For Love of Unicorns
I’ve never seen a live unicorn. Not saying they don’t exist. Relax, Bronies. I’ve just never seen one. Never seen a three year old child with low self esteem. Not saying they don’t exist. Wait. Yes, I am. Someone posted a picture of a three year old girl with a caption underneath that read: “At three, […]