Racism Is Unpopular
Despite what you’ve heard, racism isn’t a big problem in this country. It used to be. Awhile back, racism was more popular than it is today. Some of mankind’s worst ideas (like Crocs, The Snuggie, and Auto-Tuned music) have inexplicably enjoyed moments of popularity. Racism, like finger spinners, was all the rage for a little […]
Don’t Take Advice From Bad Guys
One of my methods of alienating readers is to make big deals out of little things. I write lengthy essays on obscure topics that cause people to ask, “Why do you even care about this?” I could ask, “Why DON’T you care about this?” but I’m distracted by this obscure meme so I’m going to […]
Biological Females Are The Only Females
It is not a sign of intellectual progress to put the word “biological” in front of “male” or “female.” We have given control of our language to a teensy-weensy group of irrational bullies. Years ago, before we put crazy people in charge, parents dressed tiny babies in pink or blue depending on their gender. They […]
Post Rittenhouse Debrief
THIS WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN THE DAY AFTER THE RITTENHOUSE VERDICT WAS ANNOUNCED If you’re struggling today to understand how a court decision was reached, ask yourself this question: “Why did I think the verdict would be different?” Take a few minutes to ruminate (that means ‘think’) while I go make some toast. (John leaves the […]
Everyone Is Toxic
I admit I wasn’t expecting anyone to defend grudge holding. I thought it was commonly agreed that fostering ill feelings wasn’t a good thing to do. Once again…I was wrong. It seems somebody taught you that it’s okay to hate people who you’ve determined to be “toxic.” For the sake of your emotional health, you […]
Holding Grudges Is Not Nice
Announcing that you hold grudges is a concise way of letting me know that you’re not a good friend. If you had this comment printed on a T-shirt, it would save me the time and energy of getting to know you. In case you have an attitude adjustment in the future that allows you to […]
Maybe God Made Aliens
One of the sacred beliefs held by many people who claim to hold no sacred beliefs is that there is life on other planets. Currently, Earth is the only planet we know of where life exists but you wouldn’t know that if you get your cosmology from Star Trek. The danger of ingesting Science Fiction […]
Thanks For Everything
Thanksgiving is the greatest national holiday in America. It’s so blatantly Christian, I’m shocked that it hasn’t been banned as hate speech. It is much more offensive than Christmas and Easter which have both been stripped of their religious significance. Thanksgiving is unapologetically about two things. 1) Noticing the stuff you like and then 2) […]
Normal Pills Don’t Exist
You can’t give your kids ‘Normal Pills.’ Experts have told you that the solution to behavioral problems is available in tablet form. You believe your doctor can prescribe a magical concoction that will turn rebellious devils into compliant angels. Even if ‘Normal Pills’ were real, a responsible parent wouldn’t give them to her child. “John, […]
Follow Your Heart and Die
Congratulations to you Preachers of Passion who encouraged us to follow our hearts. We are taking your advice and it’s truly changing our civilization into something…um…else. We trust our feelings to guide us and the results are spectacular. Huge numbers of people are following their hearts into the street to throw bricks, torch cars, and […]