Putting Words In God’s Mouth

One of the church’s most effective methods of growing rotten fruit has been our (and by ‘our’’ I mean ‘your’) relentless efforts to pervert the message of scripture. We have a bumper crop of Christians who believe it is right (and good) to throw out everything in the bible that isn’t written in red letters. […]
How To Traumatize A Girl Scout

Have you ever mentioned to a little girl that cookies are not on your diet? You narcissist! You overwhelmed that innocent child. What in the world were you thinking?! Girls are not emotionally stable enough to deal with small talk about the nutritional value of cookies. Girls do not have the capacity to understand hyperbole […]
Turns Out I Was Right

Shout out to Stephen King (and Main Street Democrats) for proving that I was right. There really are people who do NOT believe children should be protected from ANY literature. A lot of commenters assured me that I was ‘making up stuff to be upset about.’ They said, “John, you jerk! Nobody thinks kids should […]
New Religion Same As The Old

So…you’ve deconstructed your “old religion” and thrown all of those superstitions out the window. You’re now 100% ‘religion free’ and a much better, happier, person. Meh., I don’t buy it. I don’t believe your new superstition is better than your old superstition. There’s no evidence that your deconstructed faith is any different from the legalism […]
An Expanded Definition

I need to apologize for a mistake. I said the people who are eager to teach your children about sex are predators. My statement may have lead some of you to believe that predators are exclusively sexual perverts. That is incorrect and I am sorry for the misunderstanding. The term, ‘predator’ should be understood to […]
Every Predator No Matter Where

I said, “Everyone who wants to make sure your kids learn about sex is a predator,” and pagans showed up to say, “AAAAAAAAGHHH!!!! WHAT ABOUT THE PREDATORS IN THE CHURCH!!!?” Now, I have zero obligation to explain myself to depraved fools. I do, however, have a responsibility to expose the folly of paganism for my […]
Yes. You Can Legislate Morality

If you’re still uncertain about the devastating effects of sending innocent children into the government education system, notice that the church is now saturated with people who genuinely believe the government should not legislate morality. Wait…what? You’re one of those people? This is going to shock you, but the Bible says otherwise. (Romans 13:1) Everyone […]
Objecting to This Is Not A Good Look

When I say, “Removing porn from school libraries is not ‘banning books,’” the only proper response from a morally responsible adult is, “Yes.” When I say porn should be removed from school libraries and you respond with, “That’s not porn. It’s sex education literature,” you’re helping decent, civilized grown-ups identify child predators. For that, we […]
Disease Is Designed Too

Scripture tells me that it is a fool who says there is no God so it’s not surprising that the social media streams of Secularists are chock full of foolishness. These folks are so lost and out of touch they’re still quoting Richard Dawkins! Pointing to genetic disease as evidence that nature is not intelligently […]
The Devil Quotes Scripture Too!!!

When I said, “Don’t trust Christians who rarely quote the Bible,” I got a lot of responses that needed replies. I’ve saved my favorite for last. You said: “Remember John, the devil quoted scripture too.” That’s right. The devil thought he could trick Jesus into sinning by twisting some scripture. Satan quoted Psalm 91 to […]