Why You Should Support Bullying
*DISCLAIMER* This post will offend some people merely on the basis of it’s subject matter. Others will be offended because of the perceived glibness of my tone. Still others will be offended because that’s how they feel when they wake up in the morning. If you are offended, please go here and start a petition. Received a […]
The REAL Terrorist Threat
Here’s a story about an elementary school kid who brought a ring to school. Not just any ring. The ‘One Ring’ of power. The legendary ring forged by Sauron to rule Middle Earth! So it seems that the entire ‘Lord of the Rings’ film trilogy… …is a lie! The third film depicts the ‘One Ring’ falling […]
3 Reasons Why The Playboy Mansion Is Great for Kids
Recently, I learned about the Playboy Mansion. I thought it was just a sex den. According to this video, I was wrong. It was also the childhood home of Cooper Hefner. Cooper is the son of Hugh Hefner. Presumably, Cooper also has a mother but she isn’t mentioned in the video. Which is fine, really. She probably doesn’t […]
The Bible's Highest Compliment for Atheists
The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” If you happen to be a fool, don’t be mad! That’s not my quote. It’s from the Bible. It’s fiction, you fool. Ancient myth. In fact… You should take it as a compliment! Biblical acknowledgment of your personal reasonableness. Your towering intellect standing opposed to Biblical precept. As […]
The Best Free Thinkers Are Religious
Science Denier! That’s what you are if you doubt science. Not any science though. Just some science. Like climate science. The doctored statistics… The fake graphs… The erroneous computer models… …that science. And. At the same time. When geological study makes you suspect The shape of Earth’s continents… Global sedimentary deposits… Rapid burial of fossilized plants… […]
Does This Use of Puppies Offend You?
Hooray for the ethics police. The animal ethics police. Thanks to their tireless whining, we didn’t see this travesty during the SuperBowl: It’s offensive. Blatant animal exploitation… Ignores the huge problem of animal adoption… Something…something…something… Anyway, GoDaddy pulled the ad. (…not from YouTube of course…) Proving that GoDaddy is sensitive to the objections of viewers. Hopefully […]
Shocking Warning about Radical Christianity
Extremists! Religious zealots. Radicals! The words send a chill down my spine! Here’s what I heard somebody say on T.V. (And when somebody on T.V. says something, …I believe it. They don’t put fools on T.V.) He said: “It’s not just Islamic extremists who pose a threat. There are Christian extremists too!” Oh….no…. I know about Christian orthodoxy. I can’t […]
Why 2015 Will Be Our Last Year on Earth
Nobody likes to deliver bad news. …well, that’s not exactly right. CNN gets a kick out of it. Nobody with a soul likes to deliver bad news. So this is the hardest thing I’ve written this week. Life as we know it is over. The apocalypse is upon us. Footballs were deflated in an NFL playoff game. Birds will no longer […]
You Won't Believe The Hate of This Wedding Planner
I just wanted some help. Needed to build a shed. So I made an appointment with a wedding planner. “I’m uncomfortable doing this project,” she told me. Why? “Because this isn’t technically a wedding.” Says you. “…um…” How do you stay in business you bigot? “…you need a contractor, not a…” Your hate-fueled rhetoric is a […]
"Can't Miss" Way to Lead Someone to Jesus
If you haven’t tried to lead anybody the Jesus recently, then you need to know this. We’ve streamlined the salvation process. It’s quick, easy …and you don’t have to actually know anything about Christianity. There’s just one step. 1) Tithe That’s a churchy kinda word that means, “give money”. I know! I know! But hear me out… […]