Why 2015 Will Be Our Last Year on Earth
Nobody likes to deliver bad news. …well, that’s not exactly right. CNN gets a kick out of it. Nobody with a soul likes to deliver bad news. So this is the hardest thing I’ve written this week. Life as we know it is over. The apocalypse is upon us. Footballs were deflated in an NFL playoff game. Birds will no longer […]
You Won't Believe The Hate of This Wedding Planner
I just wanted some help. Needed to build a shed. So I made an appointment with a wedding planner. “I’m uncomfortable doing this project,” she told me. Why? “Because this isn’t technically a wedding.” Says you. “…um…” How do you stay in business you bigot? “…you need a contractor, not a…” Your hate-fueled rhetoric is a […]
"Can't Miss" Way to Lead Someone to Jesus
If you haven’t tried to lead anybody the Jesus recently, then you need to know this. We’ve streamlined the salvation process. It’s quick, easy …and you don’t have to actually know anything about Christianity. There’s just one step. 1) Tithe That’s a churchy kinda word that means, “give money”. I know! I know! But hear me out… […]
I No Longer Believe in Goodness
Only wing nuts believe in goodness. A concept based on superstition. Without a shred of hard, scientific evidence. Goodness just makes Humanists feel better. But then, always, …they try to jam their goodness down my throat. With statements like: “We are committed to treating each person as having inherent worth and dignity, and to making informed choices in a context […]
Guarantee Failure: 2 Tips
A short story and some tips for orchestrating the destruction of your life.
A Tip To Ensure You Aren't Harassed
Lately it’s become an epidemic. I guess. Men shouting stuff at women. Like “Beautiful” “Sexy” “Hot” The term given to this odious event is “Cat-Calling” …though the victims were human, not cats …and it wasn’t done on the phone And while I will probably never suffer the humiliation of having a female stranger indicate attraction to me I […]
Maybe The Stupidest Thing Ever Written
Here it is. Below is a synopsis of the article: ——————- Police don’t know what prompted the man to fire 100 rounds into a crowd of people. But he did watch Sesame Street as a boy. Could have been a Big Bird zealot. Police found movie posters of “Muppets Take Manhattan” in his car. So the guy maybe, might, probably belongs to a fringe […]
You Think They're Real But You're Wrong
What’s your favorite mythical creature? The unicorn? The leprechaun? Mine is the atheist. Legend ascribes great powers to atheists. An Intellect that can bore holes in solid steel and religious doctrine. The ability to shoot science from their fingertips. The power to repel bullets with sheer skepticism. And while they seem to be real people… …they’re not. They’re […]
This Will Make You Puke
Kidnappers, thieves, rapists and murderers… …I’m just like you! That’s what I’m supposed to say. Nobody’s perfect. I’ve got to lose my self righteousness. Gotta stop acting child abuse is worse than coffee addiction. I’ve got issues too! (“Issues” are what religious bigots call “sin”.) And when I don’t acknowledge my own issues… …I’m “driving people away from Jesus” DRIVING […]
Christmas Slipped My Mind
Christmas is just around the corner. That’s what the advertisements tell us. Every year, “Christmas is coming!” So we don’t forget. Wake up one night in mid February Hey! It’s not December anymore! We forgot all about Christmas! Didn’t see any ads! The “It’s A Wonderful Life” marathon didn’t clue me. You rotten retailers made me […]